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Self help books are all good and well as they give you ideas, plant seeds for thought so to speak. Then the real journey begins.

What we should be is ourselves, true to ourselves. Authentic. Many times we are not. Circumstances of our lives, extengicies dictate that we do something other to get along or survive. Then there is your personal and family narratives which are usually intertwined which binds you not only to a course of action but shapes the way you think.

The idea here is to achieve self determination. To be free of the internal constraints so that you can be true to yourselves to be authentic. So that you can move in the direction of achieving or doing the thing in the world that fits who you are...sic to be your self.