[Seahawk]

I worked a lot of weddings as a waiter and later as a bartender in college, at least a hundred. Great money and other benefits, btw...when I was a wedding bartender the amount of "referrals" were terrific.

The essentials in ranking of importance:

- Afternoon wedding and reception. Grandpa is not interested in staying up past 8pm.
- Immediate reception after the wedding. Nobody cares about the bride and groom after the wedding. Start the reception ASAP. Take the pictures before - there is no "seeing the dress curse" when over 50% of marriages end in divorce: Walk on the wild side. There is tradition and then there is stupidity. Pics before the wedding.
- Free open bar...it pays for itself.
- Live music or a really good DJ: The best weddings I worked had live music with a good front person...DJ's a distant second. Keep the music at a level below a sonic boom.
- Get to the speeches, planned **** as soon as possible. Grandpa can go home then.
- Buffet only, preferably finger food. More on food later.
- The venue. It matters. Doesn't have to be expensive, but it should be comfortable with views.
- Speeches. Less is so, so much more. Insist on it.

Things nobody but the bride and her mother care about in order of absurdity:

- The dress. The difference between a $20k gown and a $2k worth of satin and lace is indistinguishable to 99% of the people at the wedding. Do not care about the 1%. Spend that money on the essentials.

- Flowers. A friend of my wife owns a flower shop that does a ton of weddings. He owns a farm on the water. The bride and groom do not. Don't pay his mortgage. Nobody cares about the flowers except unhappy people who hate the bride and grooms families and want to complain about something. Let them be the "flower people". Spend flower money on the essentials. Focus.

- Food. The only people I ever heard in my many wedding events complain about the food were people who perhaps needed to skip a few meals. Buffet only, btw, if the fat cows are going to complain about the food (and they will) at least make them work for their chow. Spend the food money on essentials. Most of the people at the wedding eat at Outback Steak House for a big evening out. Never forget that.

- The venue. No destination weddings. You are not that special.

Those are the basics. All the best.