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I too thought somehow things would be getting easier as I got older, but my responsibilities seem to have grown. Right now I am trying to make sure my responsibilities also reflect my priorities and my future. You can't put yourself last, and you can only delay personal gratification for so long before you burn out. You need to balance that with preparing for the future. It isn't selfish to take care of yourself.
I'm sorry about your dad. It is always difficult to lose someone, even if you weren't all that close. In some ways that can make it harder to process. Dad may not have been all that much, but he was all the dad you ever had. And in the grand scheme of things, once he is gone, some part of the mind realizes that you are next in line. That can make the day to day mundane tasks seem even more heavy.
This is a good time to reflect on the future, what time you have left, and what you really want. It is a good time to look at everything you do, and see how it works for you. Some part of every day should be yours, and everything you do should somehow reflect on your needs and values. Time on earth is precious. If we aren't living fully, we are just slowly dying. I expect that your dad wasn't there for you, but that you are always there for other people. You are people too, and you need to be there for yourself and give yourself the things no one else can or will. You are an honest person, and a good person. Be good to yourself, and be honest with yourself. How do you want the rest of your life to be? Only you can say.
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