[astrochex]

Alexandria Ocasio Cortez (AOC) decides to try horseback riding,
even though she has never had lessons, nor prior experience. She mounts
the horse unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into motion.

It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but AOC begins to
slide from the saddle. IN TERROR, she grabs for the horse’s mane, but
cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the
horse’s neck, but slides down the horse’s side anyway. The horse
gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, AOC attempts to leap away from the
horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become
entangled in the stirrup. AOC is now at the mercy of the horse’s
pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and
over.

As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away
from unconsciousness, when to her great fortune Frank, the Walmart
greeter, sees her dilemma ...and unplugs the horse.