Mike, you know where I grew up. I hated school as well. Had tears almost every day in Blountville grade school.
Jr High wasn't much better, but I no longer cried.
HS was just as difficult and I almost never socialized with any of my school friends.
Lived on the edge of Bristol, so my neighborhood friends went to Bristol schools.
The single biggest contributing factor to my HS graduation was my father keeping me busy as hell at home. I almost hated that as much as school. His genius was that boys need to be pushed with physical work. In the '70s, he would say the same things we hear today about kids and gadgets.
Put a shovel in my hand, made a list of siht to do.
Alllll the time...it was a lot.
Mom protested ALL the time. "You're gonna kill that boy with work!" He'd just hrumpf and walk away. Cuz he knew it wouldn't. And he was right.
Here's the twist...he liked cars and motorcycles. I had a MC from 5yrs- 19.
I had to perform at school to get to ride them. I'd walk past them on my way out the door, and just focused on getting through the day so I could ride at night.
A lot of baseball, too. But not through school, played other leagues closer to home.
But here's where I dropped the ball. I didn't realize all this until just a few years ago.
When my son was born I thought I had a decent handle on parenting.
But I was not on the same page as his Mom.
I wanted him to work and not quit stuff, she was much more "We need to do what schools say."
Which led to medication, blah, blah blah.
He just needed to get out and be productive. Not just outside goofing off, he needed actual work structure to harness his scattered, young male brain.
After our divorce, he spent prob 60-70% time at his Mom's. At my place things were good. Over there, not so much. He struggled with school, ended up quitting, but got his GED almost immediately.
My son is now 20, works hard, and improving.
My take? No to Homeschooling. I applaud your wife's care and concern, but I doubt it's the solution your son craves.
Oh, you can forget about asking what he wants. He doesn't know and asking him causes anxiety and more doubt in himself. Even if he answers, after a short ime of doing what ever he says he wants, he'll hate that, too.
He's a guy. Wants to do guy stuff. Schools are structured for girls to succeed. More and more "guy things" ( aka, life stuff ) are being removed from schools. Leaving guys to video games to make their brain happy.
He needs a strong male figure working alongside him. Sweating, thinking, accomplishing stuff. Then create tasks for him on his own. Come back, calmly recognize his work. Then add more next time.
His self worth, and reduction of anxiety, will come from strong male figures approving of his work.
*queue up the snowflakes...
