Sorry for starting this thread and not posting, but I got stuck in meetings all day yesterday. That did give me the opportunity to read through all of the responses last night and think them through and I really appreciate all of the advice and commentary. I wish I could respond individually to the many great questions and comments, but rest assured I read everything.
To answer some questions:
He does have anxiety issues. These go way beyond school (and I won't go into them now) but his issue with school is just a piece of the total anxiety pie. His pediatrician (who also has first-hand experience with anxiety) called my son a "glass half empty" kind of kid. He is just generally not happy. He gets frustrated and "stressed out" very easily. My other kids are not that way.
I have opinions on homeschooling (not a big fan) but in the end this - to me - is not so much about the homeschooling as it is doing the right thing relative to his much larger world of anxiety. My wife is convinced that taking him out of school will relieve that stress and everything else will follow. I'm not convinced and I asked her "what if you're wrong" Then what?". This (looking at you Tobra
) is also causing some friction between me and my wife.
The public school system here is awesome. No complaints at all. My daughter has been in it since kindergarten (now a sophomore) and I have nothing but good things to say. Her high school was ranked 5th in the state of Tennessee and is the #1 public high school. I wish I could have gone to such great schools. (hey Don Davis!
).
Bullying is not the problem (that was my initial fear). He has a huge number of friends. His teachers (we've discussed this with them) say that if we had not told them, they would never know his issues. His grades are good and he seems happy and engaged in school. Does after school activities (bragging - about three weeks ago he placed FIRST overall in the state of TN JV elementary cross country championship with a 6:11 mile).
He and I do things together and I've taken those opportunities to have discussions with him to try and draw him out. I was extremely shy as a kid and my entire personality/moving forward into adulthood was (and still is) informed by that shyness and - dare I say - anxiety. To a great extent I know what he is going through, but unlike me as a kid (maybe things were different then) where I bottled it up and pushed through (what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?...gee, that's healthy, huh?) - he seems to just meltdown and retreat.
It is both frustrating and heartbreaking at the same time.
Thanks again for all of the comments and discussion. It's what makes Pelican different from the rest of the internet.