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Never easy but she should probably leave him. He’s demonstrating irrational and dangerous behavior. I’m not one who believes everything is a syndrome of some kind. Nope...this is his fault and should be recognized and dealt with. If not...she should go.
You’re in a tough spot because they confided this and you’re not close enough to exercise tough love. At a minimum, counseling of some kind as a precursor to divorce.
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Mike
“I wouldn’t want to live under the conditions a person could get used to”. -My paternal grandmother having immigrated to America shortly before WWll.
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