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Originally Posted by 93097004xx
Yes in the Midwest this is especially true. I’m 5.11 180 LBS and I can without fail assert woman get UPSET when you are both prettier and fitter than them..
I always knew a fair amount of women will not date a guy that is better looking than them..
I am to the point I know at 39 I’ve known and worked with women who hated me solely on the fact I am better looking than them and have a nice physique..
I never paid much attention to it until 2 of my closest friends wives who are BBW.. got together at a cookout and belittled me for taking care of my “girly physique” proceed to tell my date that I have a different girl with me at each function and went on to tell her in private to bail “don’t believe his lies” “He is a serial dater seriously”..
Of course on the way home she started asking questions about how many woman am I dating why I am I attracted to her..
The worst thing is I lost two very good life long friends due my “Batchelor lifestyle” deemed a unacceptable example for their husbands..
I like girls with with hips and round bottoms..
Unfortunately even these women are now buying into that they need to be seen with a fat guy to look feminine..
In the past I’d say 7 years with the advent of the big and beautiful movement... Men in shape watch out.. The fat movement is full on..
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I can see why women would be wary of a man that seemed to be a "player" or overly conscious about their appearance. At your age, most women are looking to marry (regardless of what they tell you) and no matter how wonderful you are, they will pass on men that are not marriage material for one that is. That said, if women are critiquing your physique, you probably look great and it is likely just a little flirting...and/or they are justifying to themselves that their own husbands (who probably do not) have superior attributes elsewhere. We all tend to pick out paint chips/flaws in someone else's shiny new car.
As far as appearance and fitness, I can tell you that as I have aged, it seems that women are much more attracted by appearance as there is little competition (men that are fit and healthy). If one is going into their middle age (or later) with reasonably good teeth, hair and physique...and is reasonably successful their age, women really seem to notice/appreciate it. If you are also reasonably well educated/intelligent, even more so. I get more attention from women now than at 20...as I have improved myself for decades in many areas. Not physically, but with respect to age, I have moved up from the middle of the pack (simply through maintenance). I am not an old Shelby Cobra, but a well-maintained Falcon with a nice paint job doe ok.
While no fashion model, my weight fluctuates by about 10-12 lbs. I will hit the top of that range and diet/workout for a few months until I get back to the bottom...and gradually fall back into my old habits. It lasts for a while, but after about a year or two, I have put that 10 lbs back on and have lost some of the muscle tone (as a lot of my work is sedentary). The point is...that I get a lot of attention from women. I also seem to draw the ire of chubby men 10-20 years older and younger who complain about my (relatively average) physique and make remarks regarding how "skinny" I am...and I am far from skinny) when I am at the lower end weight-wise. While I am happily married and do not seek female (or male attention) it is pretty flattering to get the attention...and it seems pretty clear that there are an awful lot of women who would gladly hang with a fit man (as long as that is not his entire life). Even more as you get older, because your peers look worse and worse (and appear less and less healthy). Folks don't really look for a lifetime companion to push around in a wheelchair because they are morbidly obese, etc..
I think the same is true for anything that makes one stand out. For example, as a good provider. If one has a nice home, car, etc...an important job, that is helpful as well. If you are an office drone or flip burger in your 40s, that does not help (even if you have massive biceps. The problem seems to be overachieving in one area and neglecting others. Looking like a fitness coach is great, but if other parts of your life are neglected (education, employment, etc.)...one might be better off devoting more time to being well rounded and just do everything relatively well. Moderation is a good thing sometimes. A somewhat fit, healthy person that is well-read/educated and makes a great living really checks all the boxes...unless you are a total ass, a alcohol/drug addict or have some other big problem.
I am the same, I would prefer a reasonably fit woman that can largely eat and drink what she wants, keep up with me mentally and physically. While it is easier to match my activity as I age, there are fewer women that have kept themselves up as well. I think that is why so many men go after fitter, younger women, then are unhappy due to lack of things to talk about. Fortunately, I found my wife at a young age and we have grown old together and are still a perfect match.