[MRM]

One of my few posts on nextdoor.com was a takeoff on that deer crossing clip. Someone started a thread claiming a deer attacked him. Well, upon further reflection, the deer didn't literally attack him, but it got close enough to him to make it seem like an attack and Mr. Fudd was scared for himself and all the good people in our neighborhood. He wanted the neighborhood to demand the city kill all the deer and clear the area of wildlife to make it safe for humans.

A surprising number of people thought this was a good idea, but most people suggested he evolve into a human being and stop worrying about deer attacking him. I thought the conversation was degenerating, so I posted a helpful reply designed to get the thread back on track. I responded sympathetically so he would listen to me and thoughtfully offered a few practical suggestions he could use for self protection if the city declined the opportunity to exterminate all local wildlife to prevent the attack of killer Bambis. My suggestions included proper self defense techniques, useful weapons, and better signage directing deer away from hiking paths. I specifically recommended clear verbiage on the signs advising deer that attacks on humans were not allowed.

Unfortunately our distressed Elmer Fudd (and a few others) took my suggestions seriously and tried to engage me in conversation about my experiences with attacking deer and where best to post signs.

My wife doesn't let me post on Nexdoor.com any more.