Quote:
Originally Posted by wdfifteen
"Some people will only join a group if they can be the leader, again fear of being under someone else's thumb."
I have to take issue with that one. I've been a leader all my life and it's got nothing to do with fear of being under someone else's thumb. It's more like annoyance than fear. I just want freedom to do things my way and it pisses me off to have someone standing between me and my goals.
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Two things here,
first; is that I had two particular people in mind when I wrote that, and did not really look at myself. When I do, your point is well taken.
Many times I have lead and or been elected to lead, usually because I feared other's inadequacies and didn't want anyone in the group to be their victim including myself. Some people don't handle power well or are just incompetent, best not allow them leadership domain no matter what their confidence level.
For reference one of the two people was my father, ex-jock (High School) very competitive but not combative (
unless confronted head-on). He joined several well known men's charity organizations only to lead them via election within a couple of years, he did the same at work as elected grievance man in the labor union at the factory.
The second person is a well know political leader that would not join a major political party until he made a run to lead one,
the more malleable of the two parties.
Secondly, for argument's sake I was lumping all negative emotions into a single category and completely ignoring the positive one or ones.
Clearly not follow the 5-7 base emotions qualified professionals advocate.
I was pushing and perhaps hoping for some push-back to challenge me so I could grow a bit, and I thank you
wdfifteen for your participation in this exercise.
pisses me off = fear?
Warning, the below link has a lot of double talk, but it may provide some interesting perspectives.
Hate and fear may come from the same place, but they are not the same thing
https://fsnursing.com/hate-fear-may-come-place-not-thing/
Quote:
Hate is the reaction that we feel towards something that is threatening us. Fear is what happens when we can’t do anything about it.
Not the reverse.
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I have tried to use hate and or fear as motivation before, and what I have found is that mental/intellectual challenges DO NOT respond well to it. However, physical disciplines DO respond well to hate/fear.
Hate/Fear by-passes or short circuits intellectual processes into non-thinking and high doing, in my experience.
The example is: while in college and struggling with a higher math class, I tied to force stimulate myself with the thought of;
if I fail I'll be doomed to going back to working on the coke oven in the steel mill again. These thoughts did absolutely nothing for me, in fact were detrimental in some way.
Motivation to succeed was found by looking ahead, not behind,
and looking ahead is hope not fear.
My counter example of using hate/fear successfully is with a bully client demon spawn from hell that angered me so much that long walks, listening to music and drinking some good booze were not doing anything to contain what I was feeling. Added to that I was looking at the scale and my weight was officially an issue, my body had rejected my methods of stress control.
I set forth on a new path of aggressive exercise with the thought of settling things with my fists in the back of my mind, I turned rage into muscle and pounds shed off.
I've been on this path for 10 years now, it's working and I'm not going back to swallowing or drowning my fears with food/drink. Turn hate/fear about and punch it in the face, you don't actually have to hit someone and it's still legal to assault a heavy bag in my state.