[myamoto1]

Wow all - I'm overwhelmed by all of the advice! Thank you! To touch on a few points/suggestions:
- the wife and I are 95% on the same page. only thing we go back and forth on is the "level" of tough love, when we're trying that approach. For a short bit, I was all for taking away dance, but my wife convinced me that it is our daughter's happy place and (especially with COVID) one of the only places she gets to be social with friends.
- outside of the schoolwork, she's awesome to be around. I'll come downstairs and she'll have the entire pantry pulled apart to reorganize it, or will have vacuumed or mopped the floor. She can't wait to decorate for holidays or birthdays. She just made her grandmother and amazing home made cake from scratch.
- bullying.... she has experienced that a bit in the past (3-4yrs ago) from one of her childhood friends. They also danced together. She was super mature about the whole thing and refused to stop dancing at the same studio, just because of the "issue". Both girls were even in some of the same dances. She worked through it and the two of them have been friends again for the past 2+ years.
- me at 15. Yeah, I hated school, but realized that if I wanted to afford what the things I liked, I had to at least make it through school. I did the bare minimum to pass, until boarding school. With a forced 2hr mandatory (no talking, no distractions) study hall, every night, I finally caved in and started trying. Grades went up, and so did my enjoyment of school.

I've also been gainfully employed since the age of 11 (paper route) Before that, I used to sell things at our garage sale every year and even bought my first bike (age 6) on my own for $5. I guess that's part of why it's so hard for me to see her appear so unmotivated. I get that in general that success or failure in high school doesn't really define what you'll do in life, but I do feel like it helps establish a foundation. If she was more motivated and driven on activities outside of school, I'd be (slightly) less worried.