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Originally Posted by asphaltgambler
Man, lots of thoughtful insight and deep personal experiences here...........
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And a lot of it is based on an on-the-fly method of actions.
The idea of a medical workup is valid. At least you'll know about the chemistry.
The idea about listening when SHE wants to talk is good as well. Otherwise I'd leave her to her own devices. Not all lives are peaches and cream. Some are just bitter.
As a stepdad I've been through much of this. A few game changers that I had nothing to do with and some that I did:
She was raped at 14. At firs it was consensual but obviously illegal. The boy was 21. He got his ass handed to him by me personally. I never called the police but I did tell his parents that I was in total control over the whole deal and if they even flinched I was going to pull out the ace.
Everyone was scared sihtless — everyone. And it worked. Call it blackmail if you wish.
Another situation involved me going to the school and having my daughter moved out of a real btich of a teacher's class. Again, my power to make things work for her benefit began to take shape and show. I get my way by first knowing whom I'm dealing with and what I can do to make their lives miserable.
Counseling did help but it takes the right counselor. We went through a few. Finally a private school that knew just how loose or tight to work the game. My hat's off to them for at least buying some time.
And finally, at age 18 it was bye bye. It was a mutual decision. She grew up pretty fast, got into college on her own, waiting tables for money, and obtained a teacher's credential. Her focus? Students with difficulties. She's good at it.
The main point is that along the way various people who I chose
listened. That was the only criterium. She's been used and she has used people. Although not related by blood to me, we are a lot alike.
And to end this on a light note, she once went out on her own to buy a new car. She stayed at the dealer for 8 hours until she simply wore them out and got what she wanted. I love that story.