[Captain Ahab Jr]

Originally Posted by Jeff Higgins

I actually got knocked flat on my back and run over by a black bear one time. I'm still not sure which one of us was the more terrified...

A buddy and I and our two dogs were out fly fishing a favorite creek in the North Cascades. As per my usual practice when doing such things, I was armed with a big bore single action revolver. On the way out, however, when we were about half a mile from the trailhead, I put it in my daypack, so as not to alarm the natives. Sure as hell, about five minutes later, the dogs (who had run ahead a bit) came running back with a god damn bear in tow. My buddy was in front of me, so he saw it first, and immediately started stammering "b b b b BEAR!!!!!".

So, that is where I "sprang" into action, throwing my day pack on the ground to retrieve my revolver. The damn zipper got stuck. Of course. There I was, kneeling in the trail, when all three critters pulled up. The bear suddenly realized he was now amongst humans, kind of grunted in "bear" what was probably roughly equivalent to "oh schitt", and took off like a shot - right over the top of me, over the downhill side of the trail, and off into the devil's club.

They kind of stink, on the bottom side.

That stink was most likely coming from your underpants