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svandamme svandamme is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: In Flanders Fields where the poppies blow
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My sister is mentally slow, she works in an sheltered workplace
when i returned from abroad (6 years no contact with family) she was in debt, mother hadn't helped her..

One thing I did, was get her to fix her own problems
eg, I didn't throw money at her problems
I didn't buy her things

That's what got her in trouble in the first place because that's what my mother does.. throw money and things.

In 6 months she had payed off her debt , felt good about her self, and bought some life improving things like a dishwasher.. But I made her buy everything herself ,with her own earnings because I wanted her to be proud of her achievement, and take care of it afterward. Builds self confidence.

It takes a huge amount of effort to rebuild somebody who isn't smart enough to reinvent his or herself.
And that's another problem with poverty..
It's often said by people who are well off, that the poor should just apply themselves more.
But it's really not that easy

Studies have shown that twins, raised separately , one in rich , one in poor circumstances
despite biologically same at the start, will develop to having a higher and lower IQ respectively
https://www.jstor.org/stable/40063922
there are others, this is just first one that comes up now

So being poor makes people grow up less smart
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Old 08-14-2021, 09:32 AM
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