[Leland Pate]

Ahem,
Gather 'round and let Leland tell you a true story of of a mouse that got away.

We need to go back.... way back to 1998. I was working as an EOD technician for the US GOv't in lovely Mountain Home, ID. We worked out of an office that had been condemned since 1977 (no kidding) and the back offices were overrun with mice. They would get into everything in sight. Our footlockers filled with expensive equipment, chemical protective gear, etc. When it was cleanup time every Friday, I would find fresh roasted mice peo peo under my desk. We went to the base Envision store and bought a whole lot of those cheapo-chinese-made-plastic-generic-not worth a crap traps.

Over the course of the next few weeks, we killed several mice and threw their corpses out in the back to decay in the high desert sun (was that too descriptive?) Soon thereafter, the tempo of dead mice every morning ground to a halt. No more bodies... but the peo peo kept showing up. To add insult to injury, on at least two occasions, we found traps that had been sprung, and the bait gone... but no mouse. Puzzled and frustrated, we once again went to the envision store and bought a pack of those sticky traps.

That day we placed several around the office in hopes of defeating our foe once and for all. The next day we come into work and find something very strange indeed. One of the traps was clear across the floor from where it was placed. There was a line of peo peo across the floor to boot. On the trap there was some hair... but no mouse.

A day or two later, I was working merrily in the equipment bay when I hear a shreik of terror so horrible, no man could control his bladder at the sound.... It was Passerotti... and something had really pissed him off. I ran into the office where Pazz was somberly looking into one of his desk drawers. He looked up at me and said... "We're gonna need a bigger trap..."

In the desk drawer was two or three packets of Pazz's Creatine packs... all munched open and eaten. Ladies and gentlemen, we are not dealing with any normal rodent here... this was serious and this little bastard was not playing games.


Annnnnnd... we never caught him.

The end.