I guess the other thread has become the "eulogy" thread and this one, well - something else. I would kinda like to see it get back to Randy, rather than this tit for tat nonsense. So, with that in mind...
I wonder if we will ever know the cause of death. Prolly not. I have my suspicions, but only because a very good friend of mine, and life-long hunting partner, has been on what appears to have been the same trajectory.
My buddy Bob lives his life in much the same way Randy lived his. A life long bachelor, with a few girlfriends along the way, some even looking like marriage material. Ultimately, however, he liked to live alone and, I believe as importantly, no one liked to live with him. Not for long.
Bob is a very, very bright man, much like Randy was. He was an engineer like me - that's how we met. Very opinionated, very stubborn, to the point of appearing stand-offish to those who were not close to him. It was his way or the highway but, darn it, mostly because he was actually "always right"...
Well, Bob got ever more "Bob-like" over the years, as he aged. In retrospect, he was having "mini strokes" for years. The kind that alter one's personality, and seldom for the better. This only came to light three years ago when Bob had "the big one". He lay helpless on his own living room floor for two days before a neighbor found him. He survived, but he will never be the same. Interestingly, it mellowed him considerably...
So, I wonder. I had the privilege of "knowing" Randy early in our shared R Gruppe adventure. He joined before I did, maybe by a few months or a year, and we were both Pac West Chapter members. I say "knowing", however, because we never actually met. Not that we didn't try.
R Gruppe meets every year, as an entire club, somewhere in California for our annual "Treffen". I've driven down with the chapter every year since the early 2000's, when the club was in its infancy. The Seattle area guys would start the journey, and pick up members as we travelled south. Eugene, was, and is, always on the route, both heading down and coming home. So, of course, picking Randy up would be a natural. Or at least meeting him for lunch, or something - anything just to meet the guys and say "hi".
Early on, it was apparent he was simply too busy, what with us coming through mid week, during business hours. He was always more disappointed than we were that he missed us going through, and vowed to catch us "next time". Really apologetic, but always upbeat, friendly, excited about the club, and all of that.
Until, well, he wasn't anymore. I'm not sure what was changing personally, professionally, or what, but after about seven or eight years of that, he at first turned a little sarcastic, maybe even snarky, in responding to me. And then downright unfriendly, as if asking to meet his club mates was an imposition of some kind. Then he quit responding at all. Just really odd. Our relationship on this forum was souring by then as well, but in retrospect, I see a kind of "chicken or the egg" question there.
So, again, like Bob, he lived alone. Mutual friends who did meet him tell me he was never in great health, which mirrors Bob. So, I just have to wonder - was Randy going through the same thing? These imperceptible "mini strokes" eating away at him, subtly altering his personality? Even some forum members have remarked on Randy's shift form helpful tech forum guy to snarky PARFer. So, I wonder. Like Bob, no one around him at home to keep an eye on him, make sure he eats right, takes care of himself, goes to the doctor, etc. etc. - all those things bachelors are notorious for not doing. And I wonder, in the end, if he finally had "the big one", that major stroke, that did him in.
Just kind of sad at any rate. I think, in retrospect, he did reach out by trying to join a club of like-minded enthusiasts. I wish we could have actually made the connection, given him some new friends, and all of that. Perhaps things would have turned out differently.
At any rate, Randy, I'll be thinking of you every time we blare our way through Eugene, disturbing the peace with our gaggle of sport-muffled long hoods. Maybe you will even be able to hear us... RIP, Randy (at least until we come through)...
