[Jeff Higgins]

I was surprised to see that this company makes these things specifically for golfers. I would have never thought of such a thing. But, then again, I don’t golf. I’m not old enough yet. Yes, I’ve always seen golf as an “old man’s” game. I’ve always felt I had better things to do with my time, like bombing around a race track in a 50 year old 911, or freezing my ass off in some remote wilderness after that big bull. Or sweating it off in some Third World schitthole in the same pursuit.

Maybe because I grew up on a golf course, more or less. My dad, you see, was a pretty damn good golfer. A “scratch” golfer, with no handicap. Our walls in our family room were lined with his golf trophies (along with bowling trophies). He won all kinds of pro-am tournaments. So what did that have to do with me? Well, whichever kid had succeeded in annoying (or flat pissing off) my mom the most during the previous week got conscripted to going golfing with dad on Saturday.

“Harry, get that kid out of the house before I kill him!”. Well, even with two brothers and a sister, I usually “won”. Imagine that… Anyway, I would find myself with three other kids doing their penance in “golf purgatory”, and guess what? They had earned their sentences in the same manner in which I had earned mine. So, accompanied by three other young hooligans, there was no shortage of things we could dream up to entertain ourselves. None of which, of course, was appropriate on a golf course. The inevitable result was four dads constantly yelling at four kids to “knock that schitt off!!!”, along with the requisite death threats. I really learned to hate golf… All three of my siblings golf, though. But none of them would ever dream of driving a 50 year old 911 around a race track...

But, yes, I’m looking forward to playing with the range finder. It’s been fun so far, even if pretty humbling.