[masraum]

Originally Posted by Crowbob

A college roommate and best man at my wedding became involved with a sorta hot divorced mother of two preteen boys. I was invited to the rehearsal dinner at which I took my dear friend aside and told him flat out he was making a huge mistake. I told him how much it pains me to say something like that but I felt I had to out of respect and loyalty to him. Somehow word got out to the bride. I never spoke nor was spoken to by either of them ever since-including at their wedding.

Three years later, the elder son was arrested for assaulting my friend and the wife was involuntarily hospitalized for mental illness.

I still have not heard from my friend. He has since remarried and has had, as far as I know, a very long-lasting and loving wife.

I do miss him. It’s been almost 40 years.

I've heard/read over and over that it's almost always a bad idea to give that sort of news or say "Suzy/Bob is cheating on you" or in any way bad-mouth a spouse to a friend. The theory is that they never believe you, and it almost always results in bad feelings or loss of friendship.

It sounds like it's been a long time. I suspect you could reach out and you may be able to at least catch up and reacquaint. You may never return to the relationship that you had before, but I assume some would be better than none. I would just avoid any sort of "I told you so..." statements or references. I would avoid that like the plague and probably barely acknowledge if my buddy brought it up.