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not much use now for OP but this is why you have proper paperwork done.
If you have anything of even moderate value it's worth the few bucks to have an attorney draft all the proper papers
my kids will never have to deal with this
we have a carve out to cover lawyers, accountants and our financial advisors fees if they are ever needed
we even went so far as to put everything into blood trusts so that any spouses that may outlast them can't pull any shenanigan's
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