[Bill Douglas]

One Valentines day I went out for a drink with two female buddies. When one of the girls was at the bar I said to the other one "Don't tell Bronwyn this, but I'm so madly in love with her I can't stop thinking about her, blah blah blah". When the other one was buying a round I said "Don't tell Gillian this, but I'm so madly....". When I came back from buying a round I got beaten up. Moral of the story: never say "don't tell" because it just means to a woman "tell imediately".