[stomachmonkey]

Originally Posted by Geronimo '74

Astute observation.

Stomachmonkey, my reaction to your post was out of character and most of all out of line.
I am sorry.

My initial reaction could have been better as well.

At another time I may have poked fun at some of those odd ducks as well.

Raising one of those odd ducks has been an eye opening experience.

The big revelation for me came 5 years ago.

When my son was elementary school age he was just a goofy kid. Middle school is when it started becoming apparent that there was something else going on. He was not maturing out of some of his behavior like his peers.

Once he was finally diagnosed Sophomore year his mother and I decided that well, its who he is and we can work with it. We'd never discussed his diagnosis with him.

He was never an unhappy kid but for thee prior few years certainly not happy. Didn't really care about his appearance. Only wore sweat pants and hoodies. Didn't make any attempts to socialize or interact with people.

I pick him up from school one day and he's in an obvious funk. Asked what was bothering him. He said "why didn't you tell me?"

Huh, tell you what?

My counselor showed me my file today.

I knew what that meant.

It'd be great if kids came with an instruction manual because it turned out our decision to not let it define him was the complete wrong thing to do.

Couple of weeks after that it was Thanksgiving and we had a house full. He was over animated, out going, seeking attention and was having fun. My wife started to get a bit irritated and I pulled her aside. Said let him go, he's doing it because he's comfortable in his own skin for possibly the first time in his life, he's not afraid to show us who he is anymore.

He always knew he was different, he just didn't know why. He thought it was just him being the weird kid that no one wanted to be seen with and no matter what or how hard he tried to fit in he couldn't. But now he knew, turns out defining him actually allowed him to accept and embrace who he is.

He was no longer abnormal, just a different normal and that was OK.

He started caring about his appearance and grooming, asking to be taken shopping and picking out bright colored shirts and proper jeans / slacks.

He stopped hiding in plain sight.

He still has a ton of social interaction issues that will likely never change but he is able to deal with them better than ever.

He's a funny, bright, caring, loving person, and can also be annoying to be around sometimes, but he is really an example being a better person than virtually all of us "normal" folk are.

I love that kid to death. He makes me smile every day.

He makes me a better person.

And yes, i get triggered easily when it comes to special needs persons.

Sorry, not sorry.

His mother and I wont be around forever and I lose sleep at night worrying about when we are no longer here.

He can live on his own but certain life skills he will almost certainly not be able to master.

Hopefully he meets a partner who "gets him" and loves him and will be there when we no longer are.

So end of day, these quirky people we run into at work and other places. They know they are not like the rest of us. But they do desperately want to be a part of the rest of us but some really honestly just can't and no amount of therapy or drugs is ever going to change it.

My suggestion, get to know them, include them, put up with their quirks and you may just find you've met one of most awesome people you'll be blessed to know.

Peace