[masraum]

Originally Posted by oldE

Easy for you. Or maybe not.
My given name is Leslie, like Leslie Nielson, or maybe many women with the same name. I have received post addressed to Mrs. Leslie .... Ok, I had a neighbour names Shirley (m) as well as a SIL and a niece with the same name. Edith used to be a man's name. How about Connie, my old class mate (m) or the singer of the same name(f).

Here's a radical strategy: call them by their name.

Life can indeed be complicated. Don't sweat the small stuff.

Best
Les
(he, him)

Exactly. Use their name, a gender neutral reference (folks, or no pronoun at all if possible.