[mjohnson]

More than once have I shown up to the family estate (not really) a day before to be presented a rock hard turkey. As the elder grandchild somehow this became my problem.

"food safety" aside, I've given many a bird a warm water enema just so that we can eat.

I've never spatchcocked a turkey though that is my go-to for chickens. I bet, as long as you can break the sternum and get the back out, it'd get thawed pretty fast once opened up. I'm envisioning a (clean) cooler full of salty bathwater.

(and in no way was any of this endorsed by any public health organization or food safety regulator)