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Originally Posted by astrochex
My mom will be moving to a private apartment at a facility with memory care. Cost is beyond $7k/mo, yikes. She will have many things from home there, bed, dresser, pictures etc. The transition is not expected to be easy. The facility says no family contact for the first 2-3 weeks. That is going to be a very difficult time for all.
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This would concern me. I assume they have a good reason but I can't imagine what it is. Maybe folks plead with family to "break them out" at first until they get used to the routine and settle in.
FWIW My mom went through all of this and just passed peacefully in her sleep last week at 89. She was a bright strong woman all of her life but started showing signs of dementia in 2008 with compulsive sorting and losing track of her belongings.
A few years later she was getting lost while driving and after putting her car in a planter at Target we retired her keys. We made regular visits and took her shopping and to appointments. She did have friends in the area who helped a lot and over time added in-home care for a while.
Over time she became anxious living alone with a lot of stories about strangers and phantom bugs in her kitchen. Time for a move to a memory care facility. This was a very nice place with private apartments, elegant dining room with restaurant quality food from a menu, and a staff who created good relationships with her. It was expensive but fortunately my dad left behind a sound financial estate so money was not a problem. This kept her in good spirits for 5 years but covid lockdowns were really hard on her. We were not allowed to visit for nearly a year in 2020 and when we finally got in it was clear that she had lost a lot.
We moved her to a small residential care home nearby with 5 elderly patients and full time care staff. It did feel like a home but over time she simply lost her ability to communicate, lost her ability to walk on her own, lost her ability to recognize faces, and eventually lost her ability to swallow food. She survived the covid pandemic but dementia/alz finally took her after 15 years of a downward spiral.
Looking back I think we did the best we could for her and kept her in her home and socially active as long as possible. Dementia/alz is tough to watch and was a long slow decline for her. She was very loved and surrounded by lifelong friends and family until the end. She is in a better place now.