[Norm K]

After his divorce, a dear friend bounced quickly from sh!t relationship to sh!t relationship, all of which ended quickly and predictably.

One evening over drinks, he was lamenting his plight and asked - probably rhetorically - what he was doing wrong. Rhetorical or not, I answered him thus (paraphrasing myself a bit - it's been a long time): "Your problem is that you're trying. Not that you're trying too hard, but that you're trying at all. Give it a rest, take a break from the dating scene for awhile. If you'll just quit trying, a fantastic women will fall from the sky and land in your lap".

A few weeks later, my now non-trying, non-dating friend was moving into a new house. One of the first things he unpacked was his stereo system so he had some tunes to enjoy while unloading and unpacking. A little while later, as he stepped out his new front door, he was greeted by a women who mentioned that although she appreciated and shared his musical tastes, it might be nice if he could turn it down it just a bit.

That was nearly 30 years ago, and my dear friend, who passed suddenly about six months ago, left this same fantastic, wonderful, adorable woman ... a widow. During all those years, they were inseparable best friends.

Sometimes, just sometimes, not trying works best.

_