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This year, I tried online dating after I had not been on the dating scene for 44 years. Would it be an understatement to say some things have changed?
My re-entry into dating has to do with Rule Number Four.
Let me explain. Before my late wife passed while she was battling cancer, she gave my four rules to live by after she was gone. She actually gave me three rules first and then introduced me to Rule Four about a year later.
Rules one through three were easy to adhere to.
Rule one was to stop working so hard. So, I retired.
Rules two and three went hand in hand. Meet new people and have fun.
I've been traveling both internationally and domestic. Plus, I found a new love of storytelling attending over 30 events in the last 10 months.
I have made many new acquaintances and friends through those activities.
Satisfying rule four has been a bit more problematic.
When we knew the the end would be coming soon, my wife said to me, "The luckiest day of my life was the day that I met you. After I am gone, I want you to make someone else as lucky as I am".
Being the smart ass that I am, I responded with "does that mean I can get lucky too?"
Without hesitation, she said "That's exactly what I mean, you blockhead".
After she passed, I found myself looking for someone to get lucky with for the first time in 44 years.
In a bereavement support group, I shared the rules. I think that most people were not expecting to hear about what I was faced with. Afterwards, one of the members gave me a subscription to a free three month membership to OKStupid. It took me a while to use it. But, when I did it was astonishing.
I had been warned about scams and bots, so I was careful about all interactions.
But, let me tell you about the first encounter that I had that led to an in-person meetup.
A woman, let's call her Cathy, liked me. I reviewed her profile and was intrigued. She was the same age as me, single and in her photos she was very attractive. She followed up with messaging me through the app. I responded and we had some online interactions for the next couple of days.
To eliminate the possibility that she was actually named Boris I asked her if we could speak. She said OK so I sent her my google voice number and told her to block her outgoing caller ID to protect her privacy. She called me rather quickly.
We spoke and seemed to be hitting it off. During that first call, she said that she had Googled me and really couldn't find anything. She said that she was protective about her online persona as well and essentially challenged me to find out more about her.
We wrapped up the call by arranging to meet for coffee in two days.
I had been given a challenge to find out more about Cathy. I had three things to go on. I knew her first name, her town and her occupation but not where she worked.
It took me about 10 minutes to determine exactly where she lived, her last name, her age, and her marital status including the name of her husband.
I still wanted to meet with her to see what else she was lying about.
On the day of our meeting, in walked a woman who was absolutely gorgeous. Her online profile pictures were up to date. She looked really good for someone who was 76 years old. 12 years older than her online profile.
It didn't take her long to admit to everything that she had lied about. She went on to say that she had a sexual addiction. She was on several apps and Ashley Madison was her favorite. I thanked her for her honesty. Told her that it was enticing, but it wasn't what I was looking for.
I had a couple of other encounters, but I have given up on online dating.
Rule number four is still not satisfied. But, it remains on my to do list.
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