Matt I can easily see, in her eyes, that she was an extraordinarily sweet dog. Making her death an extraordinary tragedy. After you raised her with your personal 100% love and attention. You are not a crybaby, Matt. You are not over-reacting. It just hurts THAT much. I get it.
Now pour that affection into Lilly. She already knows her role. Let her do that for you. She wants to do that for you. She is a "rescue" dog.