^^^ can't wait to see it
Tarmac problem solved. Sort of. Took the derailleur off and completely cleaned it. Grimey, but not anything unusual. Reinstalled and carefully aligned. Annnnnnddd ... it works.
So I'm thinking it was mounted too low by a mm or so and the massive triple cage was actually hitting the small chainring. The problem is it shifts like crap. Apparently, this bike has triple brifters as well, so there's 3 detentes. When you shift to the big ring, you have to push in on the brifter twice! I'm going to try to adjust the cable for the middle detente and see if that works better.
