Quote:
Originally Posted by look 171
Not sure what's going on but I wish your family member recover from this soon.
I will start, my younger boy, 15 will be 16 in a few months is struggling with what I think is mild case of low self esteem or maybe mild case of depression due to lack of friends and getting cut from the volleyball team which he wanted so much to be part of, like him older brother. Covid really fook him up with growth socially. He's now attends high school without knowing too many people from his home school. The other day, I was bothering him and he blew up, screamed at me and came crying within a min or two hugging me asking for forgiveness and realized he has taken our his anger and frustration out on me. What bother me the most was what he said,"My life, I am just crawling along daily and there's no end to this." Its been eating into me every time I see him. We aren't sure if we need profession help yet. My fear with that is once they seek help, there's a shadow hanging over him knowing something is wrong with him. Its very difficult to recover from that once they are labeled.
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That's pretty astute that he knows this. I'm sure I had a lot of those days and didn't know what the hell was up. I got cut from a team as well, but I guess my heart wasn't set on it. I had other gains that made up for not being a jock. That's the thing, everyone is not and doesn't need to be a jock. The sooner he realizes that he has talents in other areas he could downplay the cut. It won't go away though. That sort of thing is always there. So it's a good idea to divert focus to any gains and realize that losses happen. Tough for kids with peer pressure.
That's another thing, understanding where the boy is at. It's not possible for me to understand kids now.
One other thing: I know this for a fact. Kids see you for who and what you are. In your case, a successful businessman with properties. More than one high end Porsche and expensive bicycles. What does he have?
What does he think he will have?
Two guys I knew well had fathers that were enormously successful financially and socially. You couldn't touch these guys. Of course each thought their son would follow suit. What they didn't know was that they seemed too good, too powerful, out of reach. So the kids turned the other way and did what they could do that was sort of untouchable. And in both cases bad choices were made but they knew their old man wasn't going to be better at what they chose. The fathers didn't know when to not bring it home.
I don't want to paint a dark picture here, so I won't. Fathers and sons and mothers and daughters should not necessarily be best friends, but they have to be close. My dad was half way up that major success tree and we weren't close. I couldn't relate to the golf country club life and didn't. So I bailed.
The other two guys bailed in a bad way. To get attention. Think about this.