[Bill Douglas]

It's a fine line you are walking. If you do too much everyone will see it as you taking over and controlling everything. And when something goes wrong and when everyone inevitably gets angry - it will be seen as your fault.

I'd be inclined to say lots of kind words, shed tears, but don't give them any money/buy them a car/lend them a house.

I've sort of got a similar situation with my sister. I have done EVERYTHING I possibly could for her. Then she lost her temper and sees me as the enemy. And confides in those who have done NOTHING about how hard done by she is and how horrible Bill is. If I'd done nothing I'd still be one of the good guys.