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The next morning, Tuesday, Dr Vien came back, we had a chat, he said he was 90% sure the problem was strained/torn abdominal muscles, but he was bringing in a thoracic surgeon to consult with just in case it might be something else. This sounded like good news since the pain felt like strained muscles to me. Later I got one of the nurses’ aides to put the side rail down and I got through the day successfully peeing and optimistic that we were getting somewhere. I think I felt the pain lessening some. Late afternoon a nurse came in and put the side rails up, told me I had to have some dinner, and when I told her I didn’t want anything she ordered pot roast for me anyway. I asked to have the side rail left down but was told it wasn’t allowed.
Well, with the side rail in the way the inevitable happened, I got piss all over my gown, the blankets, and sheets. The call button worked, and while the nurses were changing the bed I got a look at how the bed is put together and saw a way around this pissing on myself problem. The rubber mattress has buttons on it that a rubber sheet snaps onto. The soft blankets etc are assembled on top of the rubber sheet. After the nurses left, I pulled the blankets and sheet back and unsnapped the rubber sheet from the mattress enough that I could roll it back. Now when I had to use the urinal I could pull the rubber sheet back and take care of business over the bare mattress. Any spillage would run down between the rubber sheet and the mattress. When I snapped the rubber sheet back in place the spillage was isolated under the rubber mattress and my sheets stayed dry. I felt a sense of relief that I had things under control and I was able to finally get some sleep. I still wanted my towel and was kind of pissed off about them taking it. With the fact that I could feel pissed off about something I felt a little glimmer of becoming a person again. Maybe I was recovering a sense of my own agency.
Wednesday
I was feeling less pain and was able to talk a nurse into helping me sit up on the bedside. I sat up without too much pain, and that was all I needed. I was determined to go home, but I was powerless and wary of any setback that would keep me there. The attending Doc and Dr Vien both agreed I would be just as well off at home so that hurdle was cleared. Later there was a question of whether Dr. Vien would let a nurse there take the staples out of the incisions or if I was going to have to come back at a later date. A phone call to Dr. Vien, and he said take them out. I thought I was free to go and called Vicki to come and pick me up. But then a nurse came in and said I had to stay another night. I called Vic and told her to turn around and go back home until I straightened this out. I pitched a major fit only to find out it was a paperwork error.
Vicki picked me up around 1 PM and I was outa there.
I spent the ride home enjoying how colorful and quiet the world outside is. I didn’t say much, just sat there looking around and feeling kind of stunned. Four days and three nights of staring at a hospital ceiling, bathed in the constant roar of the air handler, the beeping of alarms going off, and all kinds of equipment beeping just for the hell of it gave me a new appreciation for how beautiful and quiet the world can be. It was a little overwhelming.
Today is Wednesday, December 13. I’ve been home a week and making incremental progress. I don’t feel particularly confident about the future. Just taking it one day at a time and hoping for the best.
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