[vash]

I didnt know why. I do now.

I have a bud. a guy I kayak fish with. funny guy, good laughs, etc. but I don't consider him a friend and I didnt know why.

I have been reading books and listening to online lectures about communication. my motivation was becoming a supervisor of people. I didnt grow up in the family that hugged or told each other we loved each other. so I am a bit robotic in that department. (as a family, we have gotten better). I wanted to communicate clearer, cleaner, and with empathy. like a human.

in a lecture I heard a term. the "TOPPER". as soon as I heard the description it clicked. my bud is a topper. a topper speaks mostly about themselves. if I speak, they have quit listening and have focused on what their response will be. and they TOP the conversation. for example, I can say, "hey I just bought a new truck!". a regular conversation would be: "yea? what truck? what color? what do you think so far? do you like it?" a topper would say, "yea..I am buying a new truck too!"

this exact conversation happened. but insert new fishing reel as a substitute for truck. haha...I got it. it isn't about communcation. it is an issue of connecting as a result of communication. to connect!

I have a slew of performance evaluations to do with employees. the stuff I have read and listened to, hopefully will help me do it more effectively. I heard a great phrase. "don't use a big word, when a small word will do". communication is an art form. I don't have it. but I am trying.

my fishing bud? I'll keep fishing occasionally with him, but I am not showing him any secret lakes. hahah..