Vash, it is good to hear from you. You are a good writer and a good soul.
Lots of people are toppers. Pay attention to how often people start a sentence with "I."
The extreme form of a topper, I suppose, would be one of those folks who must outdo others. Sometimes they fib. "I have a new half-ton truck." "Oh yeah, well I have a new one-ton. Actually two one-tons. In addition to the other trucks I have."
Many listen with the goal of responding. A few listen with the goal of understanding.
I learned a lot of, you know, principles of communication. I could teach a short class. Better ones are surely available to you. Ask people about themselves. This is their favorite topic. Say their name. That is their favorite word. When they say something they should re-think, speak immediately when they finish. When they say something they should internalize, be silent when they finish. Their words will echo in their minds during the silence. In two seconds, nod. That sort of thing.
And while it is usually best to focus on them (their favorite subject), if you are trying to change their habit, tell them how you handle the same thing. In fact, don't tell anyone what to think. Ask them questions that could lead them to the wisdom. Socrates was quite effective.
Reprimand people in private and praise them in public. If you need to reprimand someone, do it quickly as soon as the door is shut. When they nod in agreement, you are done. End with encouraging words about their value to the enterprise.
Nod your head a lot. Right after you say something you want them to believe. While they are saying something good.
That sort of thing. Surely there are renowned speakers. Communication is your whole game, Vash. And for many of us. You are an engineer I believe, and you work in a public works office. On those rare occasions you are punching numbers into a calculator, you are only half-communicating. The rest of the time communication is well in excess of 50% of your game. It's important. I participated in the public works industry. Seriously, the importance of communication cannot be overstated. Poor communication can cost six or seven figures or more. It can cost lives.
I'll get off my soapbox now.
