[Jeff Higgins]

I have successfully avoided the modern age of computers on wheels until very recently. My wife and I recently purchased a new Subaru Outback. Having skipped a couple of generations (this replaced her 2008 Outback), I found myself ill prepared for this new driving experience.

An electronic disclaimer appears upon startup, reminding the driver that driving can be dangerous and other related factoids. One must "agree", each and every time, or one does not get to drive.

Even though it's an automatic, one's foot must be on the brake, the parking brake on, in neutral, and seatbelt fastened to start it. I can get behind the old clutch lockout (my Boxster has one), but really?

At the airport the other day, I quick pulled over to the curbside drop-off to let her out. She went to grab her bags from the back. It wouldn't open. I thought "duh, it's in drive, with my foot on the brake", so I put it in park. No Bueno, wouldn't open. So I thought "Shirley, it's the parking brake" and engaged it. Nope. Had to shut the damn thing off just to open the tailgate.

On the way home, I found myself in bumper to bumper (Seattle...) traffic. The God Damned auto shut off / restart had reengaged since I had to shut the engine off at the airport (I hate this feature, and turn it off every time I get in the car, even though it supposedly "remembers" me). I had simply forgotten at the busy airport.

Apparently, Daniel Riccardo is not "the last of the late brakers". That would be me. That infernal alarm and auto brake system went off way too many times on my way home in traffic, long before I was even mildly interested in applying my brakes.

I could go on and on, but you get the point. Total culture shock to a guy who has never bought any four wheeled vehicle for himself that was not at least 30 years old at the time, other than my decidedly "analog" Boxster. I'll stick with that, my '93 Land Cruiser, and my '72 911, thank you very much.