[wdfifteen]

We lived in a rural grocery store until I was 4, then lived on a farm until I was 13, when Dad went to work in a foundry. I have a brother one year younger than me, a sister 8 years younger, and a baby brother 13 years younger.

Outwardly my folks were clean, sober, model parents. My dad came home from work every day, brought the paycheck home every week, and we always had adequate food, clothing, and shelter.

But they were indifferent parents. I don’t think they really wanted kids. They didn’t even name my brother and I; our names were chosen for us by friends of theirs. But raising a family is what everyone did in those days, so they did too, and I think they believe they did it well by their standards. We never wanted for material things, but we were pretty much ignored otherwise. I was so envious of my cousin. His mom put his schoolwork on the fridge and tacked his artwork to a wall. When I brought home something from school, a drawing or some such, it lied on a table until it was pushed into the trash. My dad wanted me to play high school football, but never taught me a damn thing about the game. I was a mediocre player, which disappointed him I’m sure, but I would have been better if I he had spent some time with me showing me how to play.

My folks did teach us the value of hard work and responsibility. They were perfect examples of those virtues. My dad told me, “You are going to go to college. I don’t know how you are going to pay for it, but you are going to go to college.” I did, it took six years to work my way through engineering school. My siblings were all smart enough to get scholarships.
Our family has been in Ohio since 1739 and I was the second one to graduate from college. My brother was the first, beat me by a year.

In the 21st Century people would say my siblings and I are “on the spectrum.” I hate social situations and I don’t make friends. I have friends, but every single one of them chose me and I don’t know why. If they didn’t call or visit, I would likely never see or talk to them again. I just don’t reach out. I’ve been thinking of going to a social event later this month and I’m already getting nervous.

I didn’t marry until I was 43 and that didn’t last 3 years. My sister has been married 3 times, my brother never married. I don’t know what happened to my baby brother, he married and raised a family like a normal American, but I was a teenager when he was born, and I don’t know what growing up in the family was like for him.

I am so grateful for Vicki, who has been with me for over 20 years and has learned to live with a person who is often “not there.”

Sorry for the long autobiography. I’ve been sitting here with a heating pad on my back since 3 AM with nothing else to do.