[herr_oberst]

Take an angle grinder to it and put one or two deep flat spots on the top and side, rub it on some asphalt and fresh grass to give it some stains and create a story of getting upside down at the Runoffs in your Swift just as you were about to take the lead in your class -and finally become a Runoff champion, your childhood dream - because you had to swerve to avoid a mother duck and her brood that were walking across the track. Your driving career was over because the cost of replacing the front half and most of the suspension and the transaxle (not to mention the bodywork) was too high and you have two kids in college, but the helmet saved your noggin and the ducks all survived, so it was totally worth it.