[Seahawk]

Thank you, RN.

While I have lost more than a few friends and acquaintances over the years, there are instances that remain with me because the services fumbled grace and caring.

In 2003/4, I was the Chief of Staff for a large command...I would get my command in late 2004.

I always personally greeted and checked in new military and civilian personnel when they were assigned to the command.

A 1st Class YN checked onboard in late 2003. She was assigned to us very quickly and I did not have any background on her. Her coming to us was a bit of a surprise.

She was not personally doing well on check in...she was great, just that there was a sense in my mind something was wrong.

I completely stepped in it trying to make her open up a bit: "Where are you from, how was the move, are you married, etc.?"

"My husband was a CH-46 Aircrewman and he was shot down in the first few days of the war...he is dead." She showed me his picture, in his 46.

She broke down. We blessedly had some really magnificent women on Staff, in particular a Filipino woman I am still friends with today.

Ermie heard and was on it. I cannot thank her enough. I am not uncomfortable with angst and pain, but there are people better equipped to handle it than me.

We all got her help and counseling: She was alone in Pax River and we fixed that in a few weeks.

I had been a "Detailer" at the Bureau of Naval Personnel in Millington, TN so I made some rather pointed phone calls to the enlisted YN detailer, then his 0-4 lead.

I was pissed and I wasn't stopping with them...I still knew a lot of folks there.

Completely unforgivable. Had I known in advance I would have prepared the welcoming in a manner appropriate to her sacrifice.

I got some push back from the YN detailer folks but I told them, get her orders near her family, in any DoD command, or I will pillage your village. They did.

Ermie helped her move, we were in comms with her new command every step of the way.

I think of her and her husband every Memorial Day because she got lost and that should never happen.