[ZAMIRZ]

If not, good, cuz here's another one...

So I walk in on my cousin making out with some dude (long)

Well, not really my cousin, but we're related from marriage (my uncle married her aunt) so i just call her that.

My uncle went to Iran with the wife and kids on tuesday and we have access to his empty house for the next 2 weeks.

So I hit up my buddy and meet up with him and his friend at Habibi's Cafe in Westwood. We chill and smoke some hooka and have a water. Around 2:00 a.m. we all bounce and go our seperate ways. My cousin had called me earlier in the day and told me the trashcans were out in front and that if I swung by the house to put them back. So I'm on my way home from Habibi's and decide to swing by my uncle's place to put the cans back and maybe tidy up the place for a party we might be throwing tomorrow night (or tonight actually). I roll up to the house and see her 3-series in the driveway and a silver galant in the street. Her cars interior lights were on and it was unlocked which I found odd. So I put the cans back on the side of the house and I hear some music coming from the living room. Upon further investigation "love song" by 311 is BLASTING on the stereo and all the blinds are shut and the light is really low. I walk into the backyard to see if I can get a better view of what's going on inside and still don't see ****.

Here comes the action. I decide to just walk in through the front door and see WTF is going on. So I open the door quietly and walk in the house, music is LOUD AS ****. I slam the door and immediately walk into the corridor overlooking the living room and low and behold there's my cousin with her top off going at it with some dude I've never seen before. They spot me immediately and she pushes him off her and grabs her top and walks behind a column seperating the kitchen and living room and puts her top back on. At this point I just bust out laughing and the dialogue goes like this:

me: "bwhaahhahahahah, oh my ****ing god this is hilarious"
her: "**** you amir, **** YOU. I hate you, I really do"
me: "I was just putting the trashcans away"
her: "**** you, you goddamn liar"

then the dude decides to introduce himself, I don't remember his name, but he says "hey, nice to meet you, i'm blah blah blah. happy new year (iranian new year was on March 20)" I say "the pleasure is CLEARLY all mine" with an evil grin on my face and go wash my hands cuz they had crud on them from the trashcans. I walk back out and get the MINI and am about to pull away and she runs outta the house and is just pacing back and forth blurting out random **** like "i don't think you realize how big of a deal this is, blah blah blah" and i tell her I don't give a **** (which I really don't, it's not like she's my sister) and then I casually mention "by the way, your lights are on and your cars unlocked, just throught i'd let you know" and she just looks at her car, back at me, back at the car, and says "****, **** you amir" and I just back outta the driveway and yell "lock the ****ing door to the house when you're inside too" and bone out.

I'd say I handled the situation pretty well, I could've prolly hit this kid pretty hard across the face and knocked his ass out when he reached to shake my hand but decided a physical confrontation wasn't necessary and that it wasn't the right time or place for such a thing to occur. On top of that, she's a big girl, senior in high school and can handle herself and hooking up with guys so I just boned out.