[LWJ]

I won't do this story justice. But I can try. In college, I had a buddy. He lived across the hall from me in my Fraternity. We were good friends. Not besties. But we liked each other. Then his Dad got a cancer diagnosis. My buddy closed up and became a real A hole. To everyone. He was really grieving his father and expressed his grief by being awful. It hurt me. I liked him and I liked our friendship.

At this time, I had what I considered a stupid class. Interpersonal Communication. I had a project to reach out to someone that I wanted to get closer with. It essentially boiled down to makeing an effort to connect a couple times per week. I can't tell you details, it was 35+ years ago. Summary. It worked. All I did was make repeated overtures towards my grieving buddy. Things SLOWLY changed. As in glacial pace. Fast forward a few decades, we are still buds. My wife introduced him to his wife. He has come camping with my family. He is still in my life. It is 100% due to my making the efforts to be a friend to him.

In the OP's case, I am not sure I want to be friends with such a kiss-ass. But that isn't my decision.

Good luck. You are honest in your loss. I like honest people. Be well.