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End of Life Options
Hi Shaun-
This is Lois Lane, friend of Clark Kent who mysteriously disappears from time to time. I just went through all of this with my parents, this year.
I don't know your mom's circumstances, but my Dad was on hospice care for more than a year. He had terminal cancer. He worked with End of Life Washington and was able to have an assisted death. In Washington that can be done if the person has had a terminal diagnosis for more than 6 months and is of sound mind and can make the decision. It was weird, but was the best decision for him. Don't know if where you are that's an option. But it's a good option for some.
My mom was in assisted living with late-stage Parkinson's. She lasted there for maybe a month until she had a stroke. They didn't really figure out what was wrong with her until Superman and I took her to the ER, like a day and a half later, where they admitted her immediately, but by then it was really to late to do anything. Ultimately she ended up in a rehab place where they took good care of her until she passed about 6 months later. But it was hard to watch her fade away to nothing.
It's good that you have all of this taken care of before serious disability. The caregivers won't do anything unless you have the documents in order. And you have to be assertive and directive (nicely of course) to get what you want and what you think your parent would want. And visit constantly to make sure they are doing what they are supposed to. The caregivers try but there are not enough of them and they don't get paid very much. And really have those conversations in advance about what your parent wants when they are dying to have happen and arrange accordingly. It's important. I wish I could've persuaded my mom to make those decisions in advance-I ultimately had to decide for her and had to be quite assertive in getting the caregivers to give her drugs that would ease her transition-she was really suffering at the end and I couldn't do much to help her.
BTW I am also still a lawyer and though I have no expertise in this area I learned a lot through the process. Let me know if I can help. -Lois
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