Quote:
Originally Posted by fintstone
Methinks you misrepresent Dixie's posts (as you have mine). Perhaps you should let her speak for herself.
"Hitting on women" were your words. I simply responded to them and pointed out that your use of them (responding to a post about dating) seemed to indicate how you actually view dating. I do not see it the same. I see dating as a path to a long-term relationship. Something that I have been quite successful with. You are hardly one to give advice in this respect.
Of course, I have lots of men and women that are friends. I just do not sleep with them (and have spent little time with either outside of school/work). They do not hang out at my home and play with my children (or me). Most of us grow up, become adults, marry and raise families (or are endeavoring to do so). We work with other serious adults in similar situations with similar viewpoints. There is little time to play.
Adult women I know are generally not androgynous or androgenous and are not searching for a mate (or date) that is. Just the opposite. They seem inclined to prefer a more traditional, masculine male. They are happy to find such men and enjoy attention from them (and do not hesitate to approach them). They have lots of girlfriends already. Simping and telling them they are oppressed by evil men does not score with many. The ones that it does appeal to are already angry and hate men anyways.
A female peer in the workplace does indeed hold the power and a man cannot really act untoward regarding any sort of relationship. Men rarely complain to HR regarding female attention (and would be laughed at by their peers for doing so) while the same is not true for women. A "he said, she said" claim will end his career immediately. While I do not have a lot of recent dating experience, I certainly have spent many decades in a work environment as a senior manager and have seen/been exposed to the workplace dynamics. They are not as you portray them (in a professional setting).
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hitting on women at work, not my words.
dating is the action of going on dates. no matter your legal status, you should be dating your partner. if you dont like going on dates with your partner, you dont really get the concept of a relationship at a fundamental level. dating isnt a path to anything, its an action. the action of going on dates.
i dont know why you think i shouldnt get advice on the topic, i do a lot of dating. i love dating. i have a lot more experience than most people on the topic, due to the multiple long term relationships i cultivate, and the years i have spent cultivating them.
i dont even know the point of the whole next paragraph. you've already made it clear you dont think its appropriate to be friends with a woman, so that whole paragraph is nonsense.
the next paragraph after that, raising a family ... cool? like what about what i have said is in conflict with that? do you think you can't raise a family and date your partner? do you think you need to hit on women at work to raise a family? thats ... weird. super weird.
your lack of experience being friends with women really shows in your final paragraph. only once you are friends with a woman will you have the life experience to understand those power dynamics from a woman's perspective. and you will forever be the creepy dude at work.
i continue to feel bad for you finstone. humans are not some strict set of actions and robots. we are dynamic, bright creatures, at our best when we are free to express ourselves, and see each other fully.