I'm sorry for your loss(es) Byron, my Dad passed when I was 19, mom just a few days prior to her 80th birthday.
Put me in a funky state of mind for quite a while... Mom's passing hit me hardest. She did live a long good life and left me with nothing but great memories and an example of the deepest love known.
Here is hoping your grief will change into something more positive soon.
There is an amazing world to go experience and embrace-