Here's the $100 solution:
https://www.homedepot.com/p/Brondell-Swash-Ecoseat-Non-Electric-Bidet-Seat-for-Elongated-Toilet-in-White-S101-EW/316156205
There are plenty of fancier ones but this one is probably the best value.
Once you've had a bidet for a while, you'll agree that TP is one step above caveman and just friggin' gross.
Plus you won't have to worry about TP hoarding idiots.