Quote:
Originally Posted by pwd72s
Being an adoptee is, for me, a weird mental state. All the members of the families I was adopted into as an infant were kind and accepting...no complaints there. But I stood out looks wise. Blond, blue eyes in two families of brown hair & eyes. Never had a feeling of totally belonging, with a nagging thought of knowing I was somebody's throwaway.
I've had talks with other adoptees who have felt the same way. Don't read this wrong..I'll always care about my adopted family, and I loved my "real" parents, those who raised me...perhaps even more than a birth child could. After all, they showed the real love of taking on a responsibility that others didn't want to. But..those feelings are there.
(edit) Anyway, I know of no secrets in my adopted family...but it doesn't take much to imagine that my genetic family has some.
Creaturecat..if you have those same feelings, be assured you're not alone.
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Rest assured you were not "thrown away". I totally get the feeling of not quite fitting in as an adoptee. Genetics is a strong thing.
I attended a year and a half of support group meetings during the search for my birth family. This was pre internet and genetic testing sites. Those of us who were adopted "in the old days" where closed adoptions were the norm were not tossed aside or forgotten. I heard hundreds of stories from Birth Mothers who gave up children during those meetings. In every case it was forced by their families and society at the time. They felt they had no choice. You were remembered all of the time. You were loved and missed. You were not tossed aside and forgotten. None of us were.
One of my granddaughters is adopted. Her extended birth family is involved in her life. She has siblings and grandparents, aunts and uncles who love her and are so grateful my daughter and son in law chose her as their child. She is my joy!
