[oldE]

Each child deals with the change in their relationship with their parent in their own way. They may not be able to explain why they aren't involved. When a parent becomes the one needing care, the shift in the dynamic may be so disruptive for some they are not able to come to terms with the shift or understand how they can interact with the parent. That disruption is, I think, part of the grieving process. Perhaps misplaced, but a way of coping. Two of my wife's siblings are regular visitors to their mother. The youngest has more difficulty getting there with any regularity. Travel time is about a half hour for each.
We each give according to our ability.

Best
Les