[cockerpunk]

i struggle with this kind of advice, because one of the best things about my personal art, is that because i make STEM money, i just buy what i need/want to do the thing, and i dont really ever have to think about costs. my latest art project, i just bought/built, didnt need to scrounge anything. no worried about something not matching, or how costly that joke is. when we built the art car, i just bought everything ... no issues. its really nice to not be constrained by money when making art. i have trucks, trailers, welding equipment, etc super useful for art.

that being said, the older i get the more obvious it is that taking 15 years off of making art because "money" did irreparable damage to my artistic vision and skills. i regret it pretty deeply, and deeply resent the notion that one should get a stem career for pay, and then do art on the side. that implies that art is less important than stem, and that couldn't be farther from the truth of the human existence. humanity is art. humanity isnt money. i wish id been able to hold onto playing jazz longer, i wish id been able to cultivate a sense of aesthetics. i wish id have learn to move body as art. these are things that loosing 15 years of my life to "money" has served me and my happiness poorly.

so its nice to have the luxury of not needing to make money, making art. in fact, its luxury to be able to spend money on making art. but it also put a pause on making art for so long, i feel significantly behind in my path to self expression and humanity through art. double edged sword.