[Dixie]

We all have idiosyncracies, like putting our right sock on first. Me, I've come to realize I have a much more profound habit that drives me nuts. I believe I don't deserve to be happy. And when I am happy? I think of reasons why I'm not.

For example, I keep telling myself my house is too extravagant, it's frivolous, and I can't afford it. I tell myself I should sell it, save my money for god-knows-what, and live in an old trailer. Why do I tell myself these lies? Because I can't believe I deserve to be happy. I can't believe I'm not the failure I was always told I'd be.