[Jeff Higgins]

With a dislocated right hip. This is my new, aftermarket hip (the left is still OEM), installed five years ago. I've felt a little "pop" in it about four or five times in the last several months, but it always stayed in place. Last night is just let go.

I was in the driveway washing my bicycle, of all things. I simply squatted a bit and twisted to my right to pick up the spritzer bottle I had set down beside me. No real load on it other than me, just an odd angle.

Boy did that freaking hurt. When it happened, my phone squirted out of the pocket of my gym shorts and skittered under the front of the car. I couldn't reach it and I couldn't move. I couldn't even crawl. And I was laying in the sun, on a driveway paved with bright white-ish pavers, just baking. I decided I should head for the open garage door and both get out of the sun and try to get something to drink. I was pretty dehydrated by then, having stayed there now for about two hours, unable to move. Funny, several neighbors drove by and must have seen me, but, well, Higgins is often seen laying in the driveway next to a car...

So I finally managed to slither like a snake into the garage and drag myself up using the crash bars on the Road King. I couldn't put any weight on my right foot, and my leg was dangling at a weird angle. The refrigerator, where I keep big bottles on seltzer water, was clear across the garage. No way in hell... Then I remembered I had been at the track this weekend and had not yet cleaned out the 911, which was close enough to reach and had several unopened bottles of that seltzer water. What a Godsend.

So here I am, in the garage around the corner in the shade, with water. Two hours after I fell. And the cell phone was out in the driveway. My wife was not due home for another two and a half hours (she was babysitting our grand daughters). Did I mention that this freaking hurt?

Finally, when she got home, we got a medic and I was whisked off to the ER. Long story short, I was there for five hours, getting x-rays, doctor in and out, etc. He finally sedated me (I was on some mondo pain meds right away anyway). I was out so I missed the show, but my wife tells me that he got up on the gurney and, with a resident putting all of his weight on my left hip, stomped on my hip joint in a surprisingly violent manner. And it popped right back in place.

When I came to and they told me they were successful, I asked the doctor if he could write down a description of how he got it to go back in place. He asked me why, so I told him it was so my two sons could do this for me at home if it ever happens again. He didn't think that was very funny. Besides, he said, you would have no way to sedate yourself. I told him I had a couple good bottles of Scotch. He didn't think that was very funny either.

So, here I sit, with one pretty sore hip. I've got a call in to the surgeon who did it to schedule a consultation. We'll see where it goes from here. I'm very concerned that he won't let me ride my bicycle for awhile. I started in January (after many years of not riding) and now ride five days a week on one 30 mile loop and one 30 mile out and back. I really, really, really don't want to give that up, even temporarily. I've lost 25 pounds so far, my strength and endurance are coming back, and I'm just generally feeling pretty damn good about the whole thing. Hopefully this doesn't prove to be that proverbial "wrench in my spokes". Fingers crossed...