[Cajundaddy]

Fun story.
I have known a few "Wyatts" over the years. One was my great uncle, a union hod carrier in the 1920s who suddenly found himself out of work due to the great depression. He scraped, scrambled, and bartered for materials and built a small house for his new bride. He also frequented yard sales for clothing and would visit pawn shops when he knew their rent was due and traded cash for gold jewelry at pennyweight value. I still wear one of those rings that was pawned during the depression @ ten cents on the dollar.

When he passed away he owned several rental homes and 500 AC of land halfway between LA and Palm Springs. The house he built had a dozen hidey holes filled with gold jewelry he had acquired over the years as his personal savings account. He lived in the house he built and drove the same old Chevy truck for nearly all of his life. He never trusted banks.

Gentle suggestion: Find yourself a nice pair of wire cutters and get busy cutting away all of that barbed wire around your heart. Get some antiseptic and treat those wounds so you can open yourself to love again. These opportunities don't come along every day and this guy sounds very grounded and knows exactly who he is. Love can be magnificent, frustrating, glorious, infuriating, and rarely lasts forever. It's still worth taking that leap I think.
Cheers!