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By definition, "retirement planning" is a necessary oxymoron...the amount of variables involved in anticipating the vicissitudes wrapped in 15 to 20 years of life can make you crazy.
The big stuff, which you are already rightfully working through, is critical in terms of shaping the ability to establish a retirement "floor".
My only financial advice is to establish a "know when to fold'em" of monthly fixed costs exceed a certain comfort amount and anticipate, to the best of your ability, how to deal with it: move, sell and rent, involve the children earlier, etc.
After that, and I am sure you are tracking, make sure all the paperwork is in order to support the inevitable hard decisions.
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1996 FJ80.
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